By Benn Myers, commentary editor
When I went to see Sucker Punch, I knew it was going to be bad. The loose impressions I gathered from watching the trailer was enough to let me know that whatever this movie was going to be, it wasn’t going to be good. But that being said, I thought it would be a fun movie, one that was bad but would feature gratuitous enough content that I would still find myself entertained.
My low expectations were actually unfulfilled.
The movie follows the journey of Babydoll (that is the main character’s name, seriously), a girl who picks an extremely inopportune time to enter into a sort of walking coma and is shipped to a mental asylum. She is scheduled for a prompt lobotomy, a fate she has only five days to escape by breaking out of the asylum.
From here the movie starts to make a whole less sense. The movie is told through three separate realities: one is the asylum, one is a sort of brothel and the last is the ridiculous realm of women wielding samurai swords fighting dragons featured in the preview. They all, theoretically, tie together, but it can be hard to follow when you try to piece together the fact that the robot she just killed is really a manifestation of a kitchen knife, which she’s stealing by dancing in the brothel, which she is presumably stealing in the real world; the movie never really gets that far. It’s like a bad Inception.
The rather unconventional (read: terrible) plot isn’t helped along by the rather poor performances or writing that pervades the movie either. Scott Glenn has some one-liners as the “wise-man,” which literally make no sense in any context. The more serious dialogue of the movie fairs no better, always existing in the realm of the unbearably sappy. The saddest part of the movie was realizing when bad things happened to the characters I felt nothing.
It’s honestly an exercise in restraint to write a Sucker Punch review without collapsing into a full-blown rant; so I’m going to tie this up now. Sucker Punch is not good; don’t see it. If you really think you’re in the mood for some mindless fun, there are plenty of movies that do it better. The only blow Sucker Punch is going to hit you with is how unfathomably bad it is.